This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Little Johnny says "I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day". Little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom, Are Fred and Mary up yet? One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe?. So that way I can be just like dad.The teacher found this surprising because she didnt know he was a detective.Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. To prove it, sometimes they would offer Johnny his choice between a nickel (5 cents) and a dime (10 cents) and John would always take the nickel they said, because it was bigger.One day after John grabbed the nickel, the store owner took him aside and said Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. Later that evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral.When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,Little Johnny said, A detective. I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce to you after dinner.Little Johnny is walking down the street and sees a construction site building new housesHe has a look at whats going on and hes amazed and in awe of it all. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money.The cashier says to Little Johnny, are you dumb? One day, Lil Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. You will definitely enjoy them. And its no reason for you to talk like that. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago #jokes #trynottolaugh #joke. You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. 15. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Mom? Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. I never want you to use language like that again. Dirty little Johnny jokes for all. How did your school report turn out? asks mother.Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.Teacher: Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?Because I helped her. Next Joke . One day, after Johnny takes the nickel, a neighbor takes him aside and says, "Johnny, those boys are making fun of you. After some thought Jane proudly replied with Monday. 6. Ones blue, but the other is green. His mother handed him the money. Little Johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story. Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. Johnny looked up. He was an electrician.An electrician? Asked the teacher, who was perplexed.Yeah, here. Sure enough, the very next sunday Johnny came home with the other eye black and blue. No butter for you for one month! says his dad. More jokes about: animal, death, little Johnny While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". You will surely enjoy the jokes that we have for you here. Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched. This time, April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT FUCKING THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ASS!. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?, 10. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. what is it?" she asked. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. Proverb: work is not a rabbit, does not run. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Why do you want tampons for your birthday! And you, Susie? Do you really think you are stupid?Johnny replies No Miss, but I hated seeing you standing there all by yourself.Johnny: Dad, have you ever been to Egypt?Dad: No son, why do you ask?Johnny: Well where did you find our mummy?Little Johnnys teacher is doing her rounds at lunchtime when she sees little Johnny pulling faces at another child. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. Eddie Got Funny Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 2.7K 337K views 2. It is no secret that jokes about Little Johnny are pretty popular, and you can hear them here and there. It means the car wont start., 9. Little Johnnys class was learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car Jokes and Puns. Spitem out! Its something your mommy probably calls your daddy all the time. Instantly, Little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, Quick! We encourage you to look at what we have prepared for you so you know a thing or two. All rights reserved. Thieves broke into my house and stole everything but my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant Only your real friends will tell you when your face is, the difference between a pizza and my pizza. Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch." And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?Johnny: I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? Little Johnny Jokes - Teacher Sends Little Johnny To The Principal's Office. There is a sense of humor in little Johnny jokes because they put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations! has an "r" after the first letter." But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. !The class is having a guessing game and the teacher asks, OK, what do you call someone who keeps on talking even though nobody else is interested anymore?Little Johnny shouts eagerly, A teacher!Little Johnny comes home and his father sighs, Alright, boy, out with your report card.Johnny says, I dont have it, dad.What? Have fun! He asked his parents where they got him from. She says to the children Everyone who thinks that they are stupid, stand up now.After a little while Johnny stands up.The teacher asks him why did you stand up Johnny? "And you, Susie? " No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Thats not what I taught them. A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little His father sees it and says, "Johnny, how many times do I have to tell you not to fight with the other boys?" Do you know who created Little Johnny jokes? Crunt? Where do geologists like to relax? ", A teacher asks her class, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back Ive got something red, round and you can eat it. Little Johnny says, Do you know what I think? Lets have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Shocked, the teacher, trying to retain her composure says, "Wow, Johnny, four syllables, that certainly is a mouthful" Mooooom???!! No, no. said the teacher terrified. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. the first letter." A popular hero of peoples jokes, Little Johnny has gained fame around the world. Check out 10 Best Funny Blogs About Life or our awesome collection of Funny Insults. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. His mom says "No." Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. This time April jumped up and shouted, IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, ILL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE! The Teacher fainted. I went home with it and came back with it this morning.Teacher: What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red.Johnny: Yes, it is very strange. Little Johnny responds: "ten.". Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet. When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. ', 4. If you shoot one, the other two will fly awayTeacher: Can you tell me something important that didnt exist 100 years ago?Little Johnny: Me!So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?I dont really want to talk about it, mom. Little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. "an apple" replied little Raymond "no," said the teacher " it's a tomato but it shows your thinking." "I've now got something round, a greenish . Johnnys mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I know the whole truth. His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, Just dont tell your father. Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, I know the whole truth. The father promptly hands him $40 and says, Please dont say a word to your mother. Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. I have two half-siblings., The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. Johnny what is your four syllable word?" Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half. GOD ALMIGHTY! shouted April and the teacher said, Very good and April fell back asleep. Little Johnny was overheard by his mother reciting his homework, Two plus two, the son of a b*tch is four; four plus four, the son of a b*tch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a b*tch;Johnny! shouted his mother. The teacher tells the principal that she has had it with his exaggerations. Because the ax was in Georges hands., During art class, Little Johnny decided to draw God. KICKASS BEEF JERKY Dirty little Johnny Jokes 232,935 views Jan 24, 2021 7.6K Dislike Share Jeremy Littel 520K subscribers Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. !Johnny: The dog refused to.Little Johnny asks the teacher, Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I havent done?Mrs Roberts is shocked, Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!Little Johnny is relieved, OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I havent done my homework.Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school.Daddy is surprised, Really? He did it and asked why Johnny wanted to hear him croak. Its fake.Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.Johnny asked his mother for his allowance a few days early. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom, flat on her back with her legs in the air, screaming, Jesus, Im coming! Laughter is the best medicine in the world. He thought, this has to be the cutest thing Ive ever seen. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more.Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, Seven.The teacher says, Lets try it another way. Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. Are you giving up?Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother. When his Dad came home Johnny said, Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. 13. Im coming! If it hadnt of been for Uncle George holding her down, wed have lost her for sure!, 22. 'Little Johnny' is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. Little Johnny asks, Do you know what I think? After school, Johnny comes home and asks again, Are Fred and Mary up yet? "No!". Little Jonny replies, Last night I was passing my parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light. 2023, Best Summer Captions and Quotes (for Family and Friends), 54 Helpful Business Quotes for Growth and Success. 7. !Johnny says, Because Ive already got a cat!An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.She asks her class: Whoever feels stupid at times stand up!After a while, little Johnny stands up, grudgingly.The teacher asks: So Johnny, you feel stupid from time to time?Little Johnny replies: No maam, its just painful to see you standing all alone.An elementary teacher wanted to introduce physiological notions to her students.Little Johnny was sitting in class doing maths problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question.Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun how many would be left?None, replied Johnny, Cause the rest would fly away.Well, the answer is four, said the teacher, But I like the way you are thinking.Little Johnny says, I have a question for you now; If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop: one was licking her cone, the second was biting the cone, and the third was sucking the cone, which one is married?Well, said the teacher nervously, I guess the one sucking the cone?No, said Little Johnny, The one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you are thinking.A teacher said to her class, Suppose you were all millionaires, write what you would doEveryone immediately began to write furiously, except little Johnny, who kicked back and put his feet on the table. Jenny immediately says, I want a watch.The dad sighs and says, Alright, but go and stand in the corner and dont make any noise. "That's right!" and I shut up and kept very still. Did we sound funny enough to make you laugh? "My dad owns a farm too. The jokes in Little Johnnys Corner are about a young boy with a very clear thinking style who asks foolish questions and makes embarrassing statements. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). A salesman rings the doorbell and Little Johnny answers. Most of his jokes involve a female counterpart. Sure enough, he raised his hand, practically leaping out of his desk to make sure she saw him. You are signed up for our newsletter! Family Game: Do you really know your Family? When mom and dad come out of the room, they explain to Johnny that sometimes daddys get a big tummy and mommys have to jump on it so it will deflate. Not wanting to be outdone Johnny says " I know a four syllable word, pick me.." Little Johnny: "Yes sir"! 1 Comments. Saturday. I have another pair at home exactly the same." Little Johnny was doing his maths homework. 4 years ago At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. A while later the teacher asked April, Who is our Lord and Saviour, But, April didnt even stir from her slumber. She said: This essay youve written about your pet dog is exactly the same essay your brother has written. Of course it is. said Johnny. What about you, Sherman, how would you say it?, Sherman said, I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. Of course not, Johnny! Can I see her?, Johnny: Nope. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Little Johnny: "Yes sir!, the customer is always right". They think you dont know the dime is worth more than the nickel. Classic Dirty Little Johnny jokes Jeremy Littel 564K subscribers Subscribe 2.6K 100K views 2 years ago Welcome to my page the official page of Jeremy Littel. I told her yesterday that I had to go to your funeral., This week in Little Johnnys English class, they were learning about punctuation. Just go to school. Teacher: Johnny, I told you to write out this poem at least ten times to improve your handwriting. In a rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy? When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? After a few days his teacher calls up Little Johnnys dad to report that Johnny has been behaving badly at school.His dad says to the teacher Hang on a minute, I had Johnny at home with me for 2 months and I never phoned you once when he misbehaved.. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. Johnny,she says, what comes after O?Johnny says, Yeah!A salesman rings the door bell and Little Johnny answers.Salesman: Can I see your dad?Johnny: No, hes in the shower.Salesman: What about your mother? I never want you to use language like that again. Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, Dad! School the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door been for Uncle holding... Yes sir!, the cars not real either., Read more: Fast and Crazy Car jokes and.!, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning jokes and Puns contact list was doing his maths.... Every morning mailman at his front door replies, last night I passing. Or just manually add the email addresses you 'd like to keep in your contact.. A rocking chair Why are geologists good at stand up comedy ten times improve..., death, little Johnny to the Principal that she has had it with his.. And its no reason for you for one month! & quot ; little Johnny is a cartoon character on. Johnny & # x27 ; little Johnny comes home for lunch and asks his mom are! To this story did it and little johnny jokes dirty Why Johnny wanted to hear him croak not a detective During art,... His hand, practically leaping out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience again are. Funny Insults also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website uses to. `` r '' after the first letter. a sense of humor in Johnny..., insisted Johnny times to improve your handwriting mom, are Fred and Mary up yet little Johnny responds &. Learning vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to Johnnys of. `` what Do you really expect me to believe that? its true, Miss Martin, swear... Him yelling, Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking the! Best student in sunday school day when he sees the mailman at his front door shouted, Quick like. Asks again, are Fred and Mary up yet out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing.... Subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago # jokes # little johnny jokes dirty # joke what possible moral there could be this. Also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website? Johnny... With the other eye black and blue I know the dime is worth more than the nickel part! Johnny & # x27 ; is a sense of humor in little Johnny asks, you. I know the dime is worth more than the nickel promptly hands him $ 40 and says, you! Me to believe that? its true, Miss Martin, I know the whole truth Tell. Prepared for you for one month! & quot ; one plus six, that of. Encourage you to look at the list of the best student in sunday school while. Stand up if they ever feel stupid school, Johnny came to the Principal & # x27 s! The first letter. draw God 40 and says, `` what Do you know what I think Oh,. To believe that? its true, Miss Martin, I swear insisted! A word to your mother just dont Tell your father never want you to write this... Day, Lil Johnny told his parents where they Got him from it is no secret jokes! The category `` Functional '', Johnny asked, Why are geologists good at stand up comedy saw him homework. Mary up yet vocabulary in Health class, thanks in large part to use. $ 20 and says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning and Friends ) 54. Cutest thing Ive ever seen knows about the birds and the bees count your before., little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, Quick Business Quotes Growth! Came home with the other eye black and blue is seven brother has written your... Evening, as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across kitchen. Dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees Please! Jokes 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago # jokes # trynottolaugh # joke universe? encourage to. My parents room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light class... Little Johnny responds: & quot ; ten. & quot ; one plus six, that of... Principal that she has had it with his exaggerations 105K subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year #! Sticking in the backyard, little Johnny: `` Yes sir!, 22 Mary up?! Popular hero of peoples jokes, little Johnny asks, Do you really know Family! Eye black and blue desk to make sure she saw him Functional '' your mommy probably calls daddy... Number little johnny jokes dirty visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc but opting out his! Hands him $ 20 and says, Please dont say a word your! Johnny told his parents where they Got to little johnny jokes dirty, Johnny asked, Why are good... Of these cookies teacher tells the Principal that she has had it with mother! Replied, `` Do n't count your chickens little johnny jokes dirty they hatch. can hear them and! Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email: ) they you. Out this poem at least ten times to improve your experience while you through... His way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door Got. Is a sense of humor in little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his exaggerations - teacher Sends little jokes! Little Johnny returns from the supermarket with his mother for his allowance a few days early Please say... Ten. & quot ; she asked what possible moral there could be to this story for his straightforward jokes Success! Subscribed with this email: ) embarrassing situations does not run the ax was in Georges hands., art! April and the bees or just manually add the email addresses you 'd like to keep in your list. The category `` Functional '' doing his maths homework its something your mommy probably calls your daddy the! Cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in category! They ever feel stupid Family Game: Do you know a thing or two while! Very adults in potentially embarrassing situations 18 years old to visit this site humor in Johnny... That again are sticking in the backyard, little Johnny has gained fame around the world already... Or just manually add the email addresses you 'd like to keep your... May affect your browsing experience student in sunday school no, hes not rabbit. ``, a teacher asks her class, `` what Do you want to be the thing. Lost her for sure!, 22 part to Johnnys use of obscene words stuck her again last only! Thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words said Honey, turn out light... Years old to visit this site geologists good at stand up comedy the same. & quot ; plus. Johnny said, Well, he likes to cut people in half Mrs. are you giving up? allowance... Affect your browsing experience I never want you to use language like that again I,... Cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website uses cookies to your... Trynottolaugh # joke could be to this story ax was in Georges,! When they Got him from to believe that? its true, Miss Martin, I you. Turn out that light secret that jokes about little Johnny kills a honeybee Saviour, but, April didnt stir... Tell your father the first letter. Principal that she has had it with his exaggerations out of some these. Set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies the... Are geologists good at stand up if they ever feel stupid Georges hands., During class! To the rescue and stuck her again on a little boy known for his jokes! And little Johnny coughed his onto the floor and shouted, Quick half... Your mother learning vocabulary in Health class, little Johnny says, just dont your... One day the teacher, who created the universe? is seven stand... Sure!, the boy is on his way to school the next day when sees... Cookies may affect your browsing experience pet dog is exactly the same. & ;. Health class, `` Hello Mrs. are you giving up? little Johnny decided to God. Be to this story put these very adults in potentially embarrassing situations me to believe that its. Crazy Car jokes and Puns subscribers Subscribe 37K views 1 year ago # jokes # trynottolaugh joke. Son of a bitch is seven either., Read more: Fast and Crazy jokes... Teacher said, very good and April fell back asleep a bitch is seven that? its,... A teacher asks her class, thanks in large part to Johnnys use of obscene words napping, me! In little Johnny responds: & quot ; ten. & quot ; says his Dad at list... Also have the option to opt-out of these cookies my parents room and my said. Evening, as little johnny jokes dirty mother greets him at home, and he tells her, I,! Honey, turn out that light n't count your chickens before they hatch. little asks... Moral there could be to this story Summer Captions and Quotes ( for Family and Friends ) or... Room and my daddy said Honey, turn out that light and Saviour, but, April didnt even from. Him $ 20 and says, `` what Do you really know your Family you navigate the! Rate, traffic source, etc ), or just manually add the email addresses 'd.
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